Friday, December 5, 2008

Mallory's Evaluation of My Rough Draft

Manuscript Title: Republican Visions of Undermining Patriarchy in Isaac Mitchell’s The Asylum

Accept _____
Revise and resubmit _X
Reject _____

Evaluation: I enjoyed reading your paper. I thought you had a lot of information to present which shows your hard work and extensive research. I had never heard of your novel before I read your essay and I was enlightened to the novel and was happy to read your thoughts and opinions.

Specific Suggestions for Revision: As I mentioned before, your essay is full of useful information. However, I was confused by what ideas you were trying to convey. You jumped between critics and explanations so quickly I was lost as to what you were trying to say with each presentation of information. Also, you had some sentences that were very lengthy and their wording made it difficult to understand. Please consider revising these. Additionally, your footnotes added to my confusion, I had to keep stopping to read what you really meant at the bottom of the paper instead of just reading it in the actual essay. Towards the end of your essay, I felt like you started summarizing and adding too many quotations, especially on pages 7 and 8. As much as I enjoyed reading proof of your argument, I felt that the excessive evidence overshadowed your direct argument. You never lost my interest, I was just constantly unsure of where my interest was supposed to be. I am looking forward to reading your final draft and hearing what you have to say at the conference!

Date Returned: 2 December 2008
Reader's Signature: Mallory Beatson